Technically, this image is censored:
Yet is it not far more titillating than this image, which is technically not censored, and which in fact reduces the picture entirely to its forbidden elements?
The above illustration reveals something profound about perception, context, culture, marketing, and societal taboos, but it's Friday and I refuse to expend the mental effort to work out exactly what that is.
Speaking of mental effort, the world is apparently full of people who either refuse or are simply unable to expend any regardless of what day of the week it is. For example, the other day I mentioned an article about speed cameras in New York City, and recently I noticed the following comment:
Yes, I understand 30mph, I understand to stay out of a lane that is now a bike lane, I no longer can drive down Broadway into Times Square, I can not travel through Central Park to make up for time to get to the theater or a meeting. If New York has money for all these changes... How come more than 85 percent of the roads and bridges are in worst shape than ever! I get a ticket and pay for it... fix the roads and highways I recieved the citation on and DON'T take all decade to do so.
It's good to know the reason we still don't have a car-free Central Park is that douchebags don't want to be late to the theater. Complaining about how hard it is to get to the theater on time in your car is like complaining about how you're always late for your reservation at Le Bernardin because the city doesn't provide adequate mooring for your yacht. What is it with drivers complaining about being late, anyway? Sure, I realize they refuse to take any personal responsibility for running people over, but the least they could do is admit that they have poor time management skills.
Meanwhile, in Australia, things are getting increasingly sucky for cycling, and a number of readers inform met that the State Government of Victoria has now eliminated its bike infrastructure budget. This compelled riders in Melbourne to unfurl the Blue Ribbon of Shame outside the Parliament House:
Whether it's mandatory helment laws, budget cuts, or mocking dooring victims on national television, it's good to see that Australia is committed to remaining at the forefront of bicycle subjugation.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with an quiz. As always, study the items, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see something Australian, forwarded by a reader.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and enjoy the "week end."
--Wildcat Rock Machine
(Erik K)
1) Seasoned veteran Dmitry Fofonov will lead Astana at this year's Tour de France.
--True
--False
("Yaw come back now, ya hear?")
2) Mavic's new CXR 80 wheelset features:
--Poor wet weather braking performance
--A stick-on fairing that is not legal in UCI competition
--A revolutionary new wind tunnel-derived round shape
--All of the above
3) A "Portland hit-and-run" is when:
--A cyclist rear-ends a Subaru and then rides away
--A bicycle soup vendor topples a rider on a tall bike and then rides away
--A rider on a Walmart bike rear-ends a rider on a custom bicycle and then makes off with it when they both dismount to exchange bike insurance information
--Two partners engage in hurried intercourse in a Stumptown restroom
4) The social network Strava is being sued because:
--It knowingly misrepresented hill gradients
--A rider died in an attempt to break a Strava "speed record"
--The term "KOM" is a form of gender discrimination
--It does not account for variables such as wind direction, precipitation, and rider equipment
(Bring your bike and plenty of forced irreverence.)
5) Due to "Raphagate," the winner of the 2012 Single Speed World Championship will be required to receive silicone breast implants in lieu of a tattoo.
--True
--False
(Where the fuck is the disembodied hand?!?)
6) Which has not been put forth recently as an argument against a New York City bike share program?
--New York City was not designed for bicycles
--People who ride bikes already own them
--Bike share costs drivers free parking spaces
--Public bicycles aid in the spread of Staphylococcus and herpes
7) "Cat 6" races often end in:
--Crashes
--Friendship
--Tears
--Snot rockets
***Special Maybe-You're-Just-Getting-Old-Themed Bonus Question***
(Get off his lawn.)
Fill in the blank:
"I’ve biked dozens of American states and all over western Europe, and nowhere else have I encountered a cycling culture so cutthroat, vicious, reckless, hostile, and violently competitive as ________."
--New York's
--London's
--Melbourne's
--Portland's
