And finally...

To mercifully conclude a week replete with bicycles in the service of marketing, I'd like to share one more example by which I've been assaulted lately. Frequent commenter, ellipses enthusiast, and occasional comment section identity theft victim bikesgonewild recently mentioned a Bank of America TV ad in which some putz is followed around by a red road bike. I too have seen these commercials--often, in fact, as I watch TV often. Recently, though, Bank of America figured out my internet browsing habits, and so they've been stalking me online as well. Here's the bike from the internet version of the ad:





Notice how the youngish guy with the middle part is gazing longingly at the red bike in a shop window. The red bike is clearly a symbol of freedom and happiness. However, the red bike is obscured. This means neither the youngish guy nor his middle part can know true freedom and happines without Bank of America's credit card.

Here's the next image. The bike is now in clear focus. Presumably the youngish guy has applied for and received a Bank of America credit card, most likely with an inordinately high credit limit and a correspondingly high APR. Now that he has this card, he may swipe it wantonly through his middle part, and he may purchase freedom and happiness. The ad just repeats itself shortly after this, but presumably if it continued we would see our protagonist riding away contentedly, his bisected hair flopping around Hugh Grantily in the breeze as he heads towards his next purchase.

To me, though, the most interesting thing about the ad is the bike itself. It has been focus-grouped. It's modern, but it has some retro touches. It's geared, but it's spare (note the absence of bottle cages). Basically, it's been designed to appeal to as many cyclists as possible--kind of a cross between Tom Hanks and soylent green.

And it kind of freaks me out.