In yesterday's post, I referred to the weather in New York as "crappy." And of course, whenever New York cyclists complain about the weather, three things inevitably happen:
1) People in Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, and other obscure states feel compelled to point out how much worse their own weather is and proceed to tell apocryphal tales of being forced to scrape the ice off their frozen Surly Pugsly drivetrains with their beards;
2) People in Florida, California, and other fantasy states feel compelled to point out how much more pleasant their weather is, which goes without saying because snowstorms cannot occur in cultural vacuums;
3) Vicious anti-tattoo rants will inexplicably appear.
Let it be known that I defer to the Wisconsinites', Michiganders', and Minnesotatives' ability to withstand both severe cold and crushing boredom; and rest assured I am also duly jealous of the Californians (though less so of the Floridians). Believe me, I'd move to California after lunch if I could. Sadly, I'm hopelessly mired in mundanities here. Also, I would hate to contaminate their fragile ecosystem with my toxicity.
So, as a token of my dissatisfaction, I am administering a quiz. As always, consider the question and click on your answer. If you're right, it will be obvious. If you're wrong, you will feel the wrath of the Evil Bike Messenger.
Many thanks as always for reading. If it's cold where you ride, stay warm. If it's warm where you ride, stay cool. And if you ride a recumbent, stay a safe distance from me. Also, please note I won't be posting on Monday the 19th in observance of MLK Day, but I will return on Tuesday the 20th with regular updates.
Ride safe,
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) This "Missed Connection" is probably fake because:--Fixters never admit they can't stop their brakeless bikes
--Fixters never ride fast enough to have trouble stopping their brakeless bikes
--Ethiopian Yirgacheffe is sooo 2008. For '09 it's all about Sanka and No-Doz
--All of the above
2) What kind of hub comes on this Craigslist special?--Surly
--Swirly
--Shirley
--Surely
3) According to the seller, this setup is:--Fierce
--Tight
--Hot
--"The Cheese"
4) What is a "double flat situation"?
--Flatting twice on a single ride
--An out-and-back time trial on a perfectly flat road
--When a pair geese simultaneously knock out both engines of a passenger jet
--An off-key duet
5) This is my Ironic Orange Julius Bike:
--True
--False
6) The above images are:
--Examples of "more money than sense"
--From a website called "Hot Cars With Douchebikes"
--Stills from the new "Cannonball Run" remake
--Ironic because each bike has a sticker on it reading "One Less Smarm"
7) The sticker on this bike is obviously untrue because:
--Pink is the life's blood of the hipster
--Machines don't kill hipsters, maturity kills hipsters
--The current owner is alive
--All of the above
--Pink is the life's blood of the hipster
--Machines don't kill hipsters, maturity kills hipsters
--The current owner is alive
--All of the above
8) This person is auctioning his:--Scabs
--Singlespeed 29er
--Street cred
--Rock Racing contract, signed by Michael Ball
9) This USPS-themed bike is:--Lance Armstrong's old winter trainer
--The latest incarnation of my Scattante Empire State Courier
--About to get mailed to a Craigslist buyer
--A nice companion to the Finlandia Swiss Cheese bike
