BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz?

As the week draws to a close, I'd like to express my profound disappointment in Portland, Oregon, since it's been 24 hours now and I have still heard nothing about a John Hughes memorial theme ride. Yes, that's right--as far as I know, the city that brought you a Michael Jackson Memorial Ride, a Grant Petersen Ride, and even a so-called "Horticultural Challenge" Ride (seriously) has yet to organize a ride in honor of writer/director John Hughes, who died yesterday in Manhattan. Frankly, I can't imagine how the people of Portland could pass up the opportunity to dress themselves like characters from "The Breakfast Club," or "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," or even "Weird Science" (in which 80s sex symbol Kelly LeBrock turns that guy from "Big Love" into an "anthropomorphic pile of feces") and ride around. Really, I'd think this would be a perfect excuse for Portlanders to prove once again that they a tremendous amount of free time and absolutely no dignity. Hopefully I'm just out of the loop and they're already dressing up as the delinquent with a heart and the poor little rich girl as I type this. I'd hate to think they're beginning to take themselves seriously.

Having said that, I now present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the bike of the future. Also, remember, there's no time limit on this quiz, which means it's in accordance with the "Cycle Chic Manifesto."

Thanks as always for reading, and if you partake in any John Hughesian theme rides don't let any authority figures try to put anything in your flower box.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) "There is evidence that Dr. Ferrari, in the weeks preceding the Tour de France, rode on a scooter between Livigno and Saint Morritz following a number of riders, including Nibali and Pellizotti, with a stopwatch in hand..."

This is apparently implies that:

--pro riders Vincenzo Nibali and Franco Pellizotti are doping.
--pro riders Vincenzo Nibali and Franco Pellizotti are having an affair.
--controversial doctor Michele Ferrari is stalking Nibali and Pellizotti.
--controversial doctor Michele Ferrari cannot afford a car.

2) Cyclingnews reviewer James Huang recently posted a review of the Rapha Lightweight Jersey in which he used the word ________:

--"palp"
--"rub"
--"colorway"
--"schlongtacular"

3) "These are sexy handlebars because they are reasonably creative, but most importantly, they retain functionality." Who said this?

--Bike Snob NYC
--Bike Snob LA
--Bike Snob DC
--Bike Snob SF

4) The warranty on the Segal magnesium road bike is void if the bike is ridden on Shabbat:

--True
--False

5) According to their website, the Vanmoof bike (with integrated lights) is not only "sweat-proof;" it is also:

--"water-proof"
--"hater-proof"
--"gator-proof"
--"ugly as hell"