
woman i knocked over on bianci 5th ave 13st - m4w
Date: 2009-08-08, 10:16AM EDT
i hope you see this or tell someone your story who reads this and tells you. i am still feeling very bad and sorry for almost running you over today on 5th ave by 13th street and making you fall over on your bike. I didnt see you but thats no excuse it was totally my fault and you were so sweet and nice about it which makes me feel worse. you had every right to curse me out or slap me and you just stayed posative and nice. Please if you find anything wrong with your bike just let me know i will pay whatever cost to fix it or at least let me make it up to you somehow.
I'm not sure what the poster almost ran over the cyclist with but I'm assuming it was a car. Also, without even looking at her bike I can tell that there is something wrong with it, since it's in dire need of an "h." However, not all menacing drivers are praising cyclists for their "posativity." In fact, some people think cyclists are the real menace:

This searing letter to the editors of the Kennebec Journal and/or Morning Sentinel is nothing short of of incendiary, and the author's anger is both palpable and rubbable. Indeed, she's so enraged that she actually says joggers and cyclists are as big a problem as Canadian tourists. (I believe that last week the Kennebec Journal published another letter entitled "Canadian Tourists are Eroding Our Moral Fiber and Possibly Eating Our Children.") This is because joggers and cyclists not only cause "passing traffic to gawk at them," but also because they cause drivers to "turn out for them."
Ordinarily a letter like this might make me angry, but in this case it just seems quaint in a New Englandy kind of way. First of all, if people in this part of Maine are gawking at joggers and cyclists to the point that it's making them late to work then they're obviously pretty naive. (Presumably they're also gawking at Canadians, though if I saw one eating a small child I suppose I'd gawk too.) Speaking of naiveté, take this headline, which ran right next to the letter:
Also noteworthy was the accusation that joggers and cyclists are causing drivers to "turn out for them." Now, I always thought that "turning out" was what a pimp did when he put a woman to work for him--even Wikipedia agrees. So when the author of the letter says that joggers and cyclists make drivers "turn out for them" does this mean that they're actually driving the members of this community to lives of prostitution? If they are then I guess she has a right to be upset. One morning your neighbors are driving to work, then they see someone wantonly running in a pair of Sauconys or wearing a Primal jersey and riding a Trek 1000, and next thing you know they're in the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts selling handjobs to Canadian tourists. Certainly then "curating" a sternly-worded letter to the editors of the Kennebec Journal is in order, lest the place turn into some degenerate cesspool of sex, Canadians, and fitness.
Still, she should think "posatively" and be thankful that she doesn't live in New York City. Another reader recently informed me of a photography project called "A Girl's Bike."

Most importantly, the letter writer should also learn how to "Share The Road," as recommended by what may very well be the most contradictory licenseplateway ever minted by any one of the 50-ish United States:






Speaking of balls, not too long ago I read in VeloNews that basketball player Deron Williams would compete against Floyd Landis in a time trial:
I was amused to note that Landis would "school Williams on the intricacies of a time trial," and I wondered if that schooling would involve demonstrating the proper application of a testosterone patch to the scrotum. Well, apparently not, because the competition took place this past Friday, and it turns out it was Williams who actually "schooled" Landis. Here's Williams in "Classic Fred" attire:

Even though Williams had a head start, Landis's loss should ensure that his name continues to be followed by the word "Ouch" long after he leaves his current team:

Really, the only way for Landis to redeem himself for this loss would be if Williams were to now test "posative" for performance-enhancing drugs. Well, that, or if Shaquille O'Neal were to also beat Lance Armstrong in their own upcoming novelty race. This way there would be headlines reading "Shaq Shucks Schlepping Shacker" and everyone would forget about Landis due to all the awful puns. Ouch.


Even though Williams had a head start, Landis's loss should ensure that his name continues to be followed by the word "Ouch" long after he leaves his current team:

Really, the only way for Landis to redeem himself for this loss would be if Williams were to now test "posative" for performance-enhancing drugs. Well, that, or if Shaquille O'Neal were to also beat Lance Armstrong in their own upcoming novelty race. This way there would be headlines reading "Shaq Shucks Schlepping Shacker" and everyone would forget about Landis due to all the awful puns. Ouch.