So if you find yourself standing on the edge of the forbidding crater that is a bicycle-free weekend and are wondering what to do with yourself, you might want to try your hand at making a PSA. As I've mentioned before, the smug-mongers at Transportation Alternatives are having a PSA curation contest, and the deadline has been extended to September 28th:
Even if you do have other plans, remember that it really doesn't take much time to throw a PSA together--anybody who watches local television knows this to be true. You can even make a PSA in the shower if you're creative and you bring a camera in there with you. Really, the shower could be an ideal setting for a graphic PSA about the dangers of naked cycling. However, please don't confuse making PSAs in the shower with making pee in the shower; while I'm totally in favor of making naked videos, I am strongly against in-shower urination.
And while I'd like to say that I'm encouraging people to make PSAs because I believe in public service, the truth is that I'm simply hoping for some cheap laughs since I've somehow wound up on the contest jury. (To be honest, I mistook TA's invitation as a jury duty summons and didn't realize I had a choice.) However, I am honored to be sitting in the figurative jury box with a number of luminous personages. (I mean this literally by the way; Paul Steely White actually glows in the dark.) In fact, if you look at the website I'm actually listed right next to that "No Impact Man" man, who spent a year making toast with a magnifying glass and wiping with his hands:
I'd read his book, but I understand it's printed on recycled sanitary napkins, and quite frankly the thought of touching it kind of freaks me out.
--Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy
--Ludicrous Velos Making Headway
--Lovely Velvet Mullet Headband
--Long Vulvic Mound Hairway
2) Why does this young child have a number on her tricycle basket?
3) How can we conclude that "Dr. G" is probably not a real medical doctor?
--Diamond plate mud flaps are a violation of the Hippocratic Oath
--He does not have MD license plates
--He had a 5-year old triathlete stuck to his front grill
--When I approached him at a red light, he refused to examine my uvula
4) Even though "Dr. G" is probably not a real medical doctor, he may very well have a Ph.D. in "Getting Busy:"
--True
--False
Even if you do have other plans, remember that it really doesn't take much time to throw a PSA together--anybody who watches local television knows this to be true. You can even make a PSA in the shower if you're creative and you bring a camera in there with you. Really, the shower could be an ideal setting for a graphic PSA about the dangers of naked cycling. However, please don't confuse making PSAs in the shower with making pee in the shower; while I'm totally in favor of making naked videos, I am strongly against in-shower urination.
And while I'd like to say that I'm encouraging people to make PSAs because I believe in public service, the truth is that I'm simply hoping for some cheap laughs since I've somehow wound up on the contest jury. (To be honest, I mistook TA's invitation as a jury duty summons and didn't realize I had a choice.) However, I am honored to be sitting in the figurative jury box with a number of luminous personages. (I mean this literally by the way; Paul Steely White actually glows in the dark.) In fact, if you look at the website I'm actually listed right next to that "No Impact Man" man, who spent a year making toast with a magnifying glass and wiping with his hands:
I'd read his book, but I understand it's printed on recycled sanitary napkins, and quite frankly the thought of touching it kind of freaks me out.
Having said that, I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right it should be obvious, and if you're wrong you will see a fashion model riding a bicycle.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and be sure to wear a helmet while making shower videos.
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) LVMH stands for:
--Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy
--Ludicrous Velos Making Headway
--Lovely Velvet Mullet Headband
--Long Vulvic Mound Hairway
2) Why does this young child have a number on her tricycle basket?
3) How can we conclude that "Dr. G" is probably not a real medical doctor?
--Diamond plate mud flaps are a violation of the Hippocratic Oath
--He does not have MD license plates
--He had a 5-year old triathlete stuck to his front grill
--When I approached him at a red light, he refused to examine my uvula
4) Even though "Dr. G" is probably not a real medical doctor, he may very well have a Ph.D. in "Getting Busy:"
--True
--False
--Taint
--Scranus
--Grundle
6) Why is this Knog "hipster cyst" dangling?
***Special Lectern-On-Wheels-Themed Bonus Question***
--His bag