Moving on, around the time The Flaming Lips were casting about for naked hipsters, actor Jared Leto was also tapping the Los Angeles "Midnight Ridazz" for people to be in a video for his band, 30 Seconds to Mars. Well, this is truly a banner week for bicycle-themed music videos, for a number of people have informed me that this video has also just "dropped," and it probably won't surprise you to learn that it's stunningly, jaw-droppingly, pants-wettingly awful:
(Leto to director: "I think I just wet my pants.")
The awfulness of both the song and the video goes beyond the purview of a simple blog post or indeed an entire blog, and as such I'm currently applying for a grant which will allow me to study it during a proposed two-year research leave. What is immediately clear though is that the filmmakers have drawn much of their inspiration from the film "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure," which would be a good thing if this music video wasn't intended to be deadly serious. In particular, most of the imagery is taken from the crucial "post-theft basement debriefing" scene. For example, here are the townsfolk assembled at Pee-Wee's house:
And here are the "Midnight Ridazz:"
Here's Amazing Larry talking to Mario from the magic shop:
And here's Amazing Larry's doppelganger riding a tall bike:
Here's a creepy hairless man-child with a funny voice, filmed in shadow:
And here are the "Midnight Ridazz:"
Here's Amazing Larry talking to Mario from the magic shop:
And here's Amazing Larry's doppelganger riding a tall bike:
Here's a creepy hairless man-child with a funny voice, filmed in shadow:
And here's a creepy hairless man-child with a funny voice, filmed in shadow:
Beyond this, the video also features two instances of the exuberant fixed-gear freestyle ballet-esque hipster-on-a-dais "Look at me, I'm fabulous!" back wheel spinny thing, here:
And here:
As well as a poignantly symbolic moment when a "hipster" in a gas mask gets hit by a "square" driving a sedan (which means maturity is toxic):
Beyond this, the video also features two instances of the exuberant fixed-gear freestyle ballet-esque hipster-on-a-dais "Look at me, I'm fabulous!" back wheel spinny thing, here:
And here:
As well as a poignantly symbolic moment when a "hipster" in a gas mask gets hit by a "square" driving a sedan (which means maturity is toxic):
At which point the victim's spirit is manifest in the form of a riderless Mongolian cyclocross bike:
Amid all this, Jared Leto rides around on a "tarck" bike with a single front brake and a freewheel:
Amid all this, Jared Leto rides around on a "tarck" bike with a single front brake and a freewheel:
He also sings against the setting (or is rising?) sun as though his musical persona were some unctuous amalgam of all the worst characteristics of Bono:
This video is so offensive that afterwards I went back and watched The Flaming Lips video and actually liked it. Like a powerful expectorant, Leto and his band have truly managed to coax all that is slimy and mucous from deep within the alveolae of cycling and music. It may take Leto 30 seconds to get to Mars, but it only took half that time for him to get me to vomit.
Having said that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the question, think, and then click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see fixed-gear freestylers forced to confront what they really are.
This video is so offensive that afterwards I went back and watched The Flaming Lips video and actually liked it. Like a powerful expectorant, Leto and his band have truly managed to coax all that is slimy and mucous from deep within the alveolae of cycling and music. It may take Leto 30 seconds to get to Mars, but it only took half that time for him to get me to vomit.
Having said that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the question, think, and then click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see fixed-gear freestylers forced to confront what they really are.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, thanks for forwarding me disturbing things, and be sure to enjoy the weekend culture.
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) "Finally, a music video I can get behind!" This one is called:
2) Which is Pee-Wee Herman's LBS?
3) How much will you pay for a pair of "Osloh bicycle jeans?"
4) "Premium Rush" is:
5) Which "Beverly Hills 90210" castmember has optioned the film rights to a mountain biker's tragic life story?
"The Mordecai saddle will make you go as fast as a hawk and give you a more comfortable ride, almost like you are flying."
6) Who sells this Regal knockoff?
--Nashbar
--All-City
7) Where was this freak bike spotted?
***Special Jared Leto-Themed Bonus Question***
Jared Leto.
--True
--False