SEE!
My PowerPoint presentation.
HEAR!
Me narrate my PowerPoint presentation.
SMELL!
The sweet, transportive fragrance of Rapha unguents.
WIN!
Small quantities of fabulous crap.
By the way, if you're wondering how I'll be getting to Philadelphia, I will of course be taking the Wagon Queen Family Truckster. In fact, I've already embarked, and here's some exciting footage of my journey which a fellow road user captured on amateur video:
I know they say the driver was a woman, but I always wear my driving wig when I car-salmon.
In other news, the electronic votes are virtually in, and it gives me great pleasure to declare the podium of the First (and Last Annual) Etcetera and So Forth Cockpit of the "Cockie" Compecockie:
So congratulations to "Antlers Sur L'Herbe":
The eternally-vexing "???:"
And of course the winner and therefore the most "flambullient" cockpit of all time, "Jacob's Ladder:"
As you can see above, the difference between first and second was incredibly close, but working in the winner's favorite was the fact that it had already won the Sheldon Brown Memorial Biplanar Cockpit Award, thus establishing it as the sentimental favorite.I have not notified any of the winners yet, though I will be in touch in due course to arrange for delivery of your savory and delicious BSNYC/RTMS Coffee, courtesy of the Just Coffee Cooperative.
And so endeth the BSNYC/RTMS Cockpit of the Whatever Awards, not with a bang, but with a wimple:
Expect those Rapha bespoke cycling wimples to "drop" sometime in 2011.Now, without further a-duh, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then cheer and punch your neighbor, and if you're wrong you'll see more triathlete remounts.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and hope to see you at the Philly Bike Expo.
--BSNYC/Artie M. Ess
1. How is the NYPD coping with the problem of police cars parked in the bike lanes?
--Issuing summonses to the offending officers
--Encouraging cyclists to call 311
--Briefing officers about bicycle safety
--Ticketing the cyclists who are forced to ride around them
2. In New York City, children on training wheels can:--Ride on the sidewalk
--Bring their bikes to school
--Attend special neighborhood bike safety classes
--Get sued
3. Holding your bike above your head is a good example of a "doucheclamation point."
--True
--False
4. Why are these riders throwing their bikes into the water?--They are engaged in a bike-hurling competition
--They are Christians and are baptizing them
--They are racing old-timey cyclocross
--They are discarding them because they are made by Specialized
5. Fill in the blank: "Tarck" bikes are out, _____ are in.--Cyclocross bikes
--Vintage road bikes
--Randonneur bikes
--Hybrid bikes
6. In the above photograph, the clover is the:
--Colnago logo
--Pinarello logo
--Irish Spring logo
--Pubes
7. The L train remains the best place in New York City to see aging hipsters.--True
--False
***Special Fixed-Gear-Themed Bonus Question***
According to the owner, this is:
--"probably the most outragous fix gear bike ever made in Australia"
--"probably the hotest custom ever to come out of Canada"
--"definately the sickest fixie on Craigslist"
--"vertically still, laterally compliant, and diagonally ridiculous"
