Dizzying Heights: Popping the Road Bike Bubble

As I've mentioned, I did not attend Interbike, and after browsing the various photo galleries and looking at the various products on display, I can't say that I have any regrets. Until now, that is. A reader recently forwarded me a picture of the new Moots CoMooter, which I've just had a look at, and which can be yours for a very reasonable $8,750:

Given the current state of the economy I'm not even sure the kinds of jobs you'd commute to on an $8,750 bicycle even exist anymore, but then again it does have those "meticulous Moots welds." So if you're the kind of person who wears driving loafers, throws catered barbecues, and uses a timepiece instead of a watch, this might be the bicycle for you. And of course, it's titanium, and as we all know titanium lasts forever and as such is the material of choice for the "last bike you'll ever buy." At least that's what everybody used to say during titanium's heyday in the 90s. You'd think that by now everyone would have switched over to titanium bikes with meticulous welds, instead of continuing to ride bikes made out of other materials with slipshod welds. But then again, people are stupid and don't know what's good for them.

But while an $8,750 titanium bike may last forever, it's unlikely that it will last forever with you if you're using it for commuting. Sure, you may be able to bring your bike inside with you at work, but you can't bring it inside everywhere. You've got to leave a commuter outside once in a while. So when this one has been stolen from you, you'll have to console yourself with the fact that the person who took it will get a lifetime of satisfaction out of its unsurpassed durability, resilient ride, and meticulous welds. At least, until it gets taken from him in turn. Essentially, when you buy the Moots CoMooter, you're personally funding an extremely expensive and exotic bike-share program.

Then again, given the current rate of bicycle MSRP inflation, $8,750 isn't all that much these days. The top-of-the-line road bike from the Great Trek Bicycle Making Company goes for $9,129.99, and it has no welds, meticulous or otherwise:

This is a truly impressive price point, especially considering how unlikely it is that anybody who would pay full MSRP for this bike might actually be able to use it to its full potential. If you're that competitive on the road chances are you're either fully sponsored or you're one of those "full-time" bike racers who shops exclusively via mail order, couch surfs instead of paying rent, and does some coaching on the side in order to pay for registration fees and gas. Which is not to say that Trek should not be allowed to sell a bicycle for $9,129.99 to delusional people. Just like the guy selling his Pista on Craigslist, they're free to ask whatever they want for their bicycles. And they also offer plenty of other less expensive bicycles for those who have a more realistic perspective on the relationship between their needs and their abilities.

Still, though, it's hard not to notice that performance-oriented bikes are getting really expensive. After checking out the Madone 6.9, I went as far back into the Trek archives as their website goes (which is 2003) and took a look at the then-top of the line 5900. The Trek site no longer lists the MSRP for this bike, but a little research yielded that you could purchase their Tour-winning superbike for $4,729.99:

So basically, it now costs about twice as much money to own Trek's "best" road bike as it did only five years ago. Now I'm no economist, but I think the technical term for something that's doubled in price over five years is "Bubblicious." And it's not only happening at the top. The price jumps are pretty big down the line, too. The more realistically-equipped Madone 5.2 with Ultegra SL goes for $4,119.99:

While the equivalent 2003 bike, the 5200, went for $2,749.99:

That's definitely not as big an increase as you see at the very top of the line, but it's still an impressive 50% price jump.

Of course, at least part of the reason for this is that Trek's OCLV frames are made in the USA, right? Perhaps. But that's not true of Specialized, whose top-of-the-line road bike goes for $8,500:

As opposed to the $4,230 their 2003 top-of-the-line bike once cost:

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "That '03 bike wasn't even carbon." This is true. But really, when you're paying for a top-of-the-line road bike, you're paying for the perception, not the performance. The Madone 6.9 isn't $5,010.00 better than the Madone 5.2, and the Specialized Tarmac SL2 certainly isn't 100% better than the E5. I think even the people who buy these bikes realize that. But that perception is getting really, really expensive. Again, I've got nothing against companies trying to sell expensive bicycles (so long as I'm not forced to buy them), but you'd think they'd all get together and agree to take it easy for a little while before they hit plaid. Seriously, they're heading into MeiVici territory.

The least these companies could do is come up with some better acronyms. Trek is still using "OCLV" for its carbon, which stands for something like "Optimum Cost Low Validity." Meanwhile, Specialized are going with "FACT" for their carbon, which I think means "Forget About Considering Trek." They could both learn a thing or two from Campagnolo, who now use CULT:

Not only that, but they also use "Advanced by FAG" technology, which they don't even bother to explain. Whatever it is, though, you can rest assured that it "achieved exceptional results in the salt spray fog test," and that's more than enough to convince me to join the CULT of FAG. Between that and the fact that I ride a Moots CoMooter constructed entirely out of non-corrosive titanium, I may never have to fear salt spray fogs again.