Wet Wednesday: Waiting for the Other Ball to Drop

As a bloggener, I have been known to proverbially drop the proverbial ball from time to time. (Proverbially speaking of course.) Fortunately, thanks to the vastness and omniscience of the social networking network, it isn't long before someone alerts me to my error or omission or whatever the case may be. Most recently, the creator of the famous "Hipsters Discussing Cyclocross" video expressed disappointment via the Twittar that I failed to furnish him with an appropriate "shout out:"

I do agree that "shit was like Nostradamus," and also very amusing as well to boot too, and while at the time I thought linking to the video was, ipso facto, a "shout out" (I have no idea if I just used "ipso facto" correctly, by the way) I realize now that it was insufficient and therefore I am also linking to his blog. (Click here to see his blog, or if you missed that last link because you were reading too fast, you can also click here.) I hope that this is an appropriate "out-shouting," and that he accepts my sincere apologies.

While, I'm out-shouting stuff I like (which is different from out-housing, which is an old-timey euphemism for "making"), I should also out-shout the Yehuda Moon Kickstarter:

I was disappointed to learn that Rick Smith had stopped his comic not too long ago, though I'm pleased to see that his campaign to produce the remaining three volumes in book form is already nigh unto its goal. (Ipso facto and proverbially speaking to boot.) So do support him if you're inclined, and if you act now you'll also get a limited edition signed copy of "Yehuda After Dark:"

Door-to-door bra salesman, eh? Sultry. I wonder where they're going with that plotline. You'll just have to order to find out.

Also, in other Kickstarting news, mobile-bike-shop-slash-rolling-party-guy-who-wants-to-move-to-Portland-and-got-mad-cause-I-mentioned-him continues to draw incrementally closer to fulfilling his own fundraising goal:

Still, with only eight (8) days to go he remains 4,449 USA Fun Tickets short. At this point, his only hope may be a mysterious wealthy benefactor with an irascible nature that belies a heart of gold. If you're such a Dickensian character, then consider giving generously. Remember: for the price of a single custom bicycle, you can help make a young boy's dreams of smugness come true.

But probably the biggest, fuzziest ball I dropped yesterday was forgetting to post the following photo, which was taken by a reader in a Manhattan Trader Joe's:

Yes, that is indeed a man in a helment and inline speed skates with a water bottle strapped to his waist perusing the ingredients on a box of crackers. After my initial delight subsided, I wondered two things:

1) Do Rollerbladers get even more annoyed by wonky shopping cart wheels than normal people do? I'd think they'd be extremely critical when it comes to any vehicle with tiny wheels. Along the same lines, I wonder if they consider mundane activities like pushing shopping carts or pulling wheeled luggage to be "junk miles," in the same way that roadies consider commuting on a city bike to be junk miles. Either way, it would not surprise me in the least to learn that this guy has a $250 ceramic bearing upgrade kit on his Samsonite;

2) Who would win in a one-lap race around Central Park? Roller Shopper, or Bart Kaufman, the owner of the World's Greatest Madone?

I'd pay good money to see that race. I mean, I wouldn't pay send-a-guy-to-Portland money, but I'd easily fork over like eight bucks. Maybe I should "curate" a Kickstarter to make that happen.

Of course, I'd pay a lot more if at least one of the competitors were to wear this stunning Wednesday-themed jersey which was forwarded to me by a reader and is available on a popular online auctioning site:

Amazed, I checked out the manufacturer's website, and it turns out they're sort of like a European version of Primal Wear, only they're not afraid to "go there." And when I say "go there," I mean making bold pronouncements like "F*ck the System:"

Don't let the asterisk fool you--these guys aren't afraid to openly mock signage of all types. "'Max Speed 30?' Fie!" "'The WC is that way,' you say? I don't believe you!" "'Except yesterday all day loading max-20 mins?' I'll load what I like, when I like, thankyouverymuch!" If you want to let the world know you think most highway gradient signs are spurious at best, this is the jersey for you.

Then, once you've "F*cked the System," you can move onto "F*cking the Gravity:"

It's about time someone had the nerve to tell Sir Isaac Newton exactly where he can shove that apple of his. In fact, I may get one of these myself, since it's that pesky gravity which is making me drop balls all over the place. In yet another example of my negligence, at least one commenter feels I have not written about the "pro peloton" enough:

Anonymous said...

Hey, are you ever going to write about the pro peloton again? E.g funny photos/celebrity lookalikes etc.

October 18, 2011 1:57 PM

I was about to reply with a simple "No," but then I went to Cyclingnews, where I saw Philippe Gilbert's hair:

If you're wondering what's going on, Frank Schleck is lending him some hair gel, and Andy Schleck is laughing because it's dripping all over his crotch.

Speaking of pro cycling style, Mark "The Man Missile" Cavendish is upset because the UCI won't let him wear black shorts with the World Champion stripes:

Of course, what he failed to mention was that these are the black shorts he submitted for UCI approval:

("Rawr:" Cavendish's black team shorts with the rainbow stripes of the World Champion)

They were designed for him by his girlfriend, breast model Peta Todd, shown here in a stunningly tasteful (and emphatically unsafe-for-work) tribute to Native American culture:

At first glance it may seem a bit lurid, but keep in mind this is a totally accurate recreation of the manner in which Native Americans once used their mammaries to communicate with each other over long distances.

In other pro cycling news, the big story is that there's going to be a great big stage race in France next summer, and they've just unveiled the route:

Evidently, there's going to be a lot of time-trialling:

PARIS, October 18, 2011 (AFP) — Contenders for the 2012 Tour de France yellow jersey have been given notice of the need for strong time trialling skills after organizers unveiled the race route for the 99th edition Tuesday. A total of 96.1 km of racing against the clock will feature on the course, spread over the opening prologue (6.1km), Stage 9 (38 km) and the penultimate Stage 19 (52 km).

Seriously, that's just mean:

(The Frandy Schleck is so screwed.)

As you can tell from the above photo, not only are Frank and Andy Scheck upset, but they've also had their bodies fused into one during the off-season in an effort to bolster their meager time-trialling abilities, but sadly even that may not be enough to help them.

And lastly, the tech world is abuzz with speculation about Future Dura-Ace:

Details are still hazy, but it appears STI will soon stand for "Shimano Total Incompatibility."

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