This Just In: BSNYC Slaycation Announcement! (and Friday Fun Qiuz)

It was a warm and pleasant morning here in New York City--warm enough even to soften the outer edges of my heart, although the core remained hard and cold like an under-nuked frozen dinner. As I veloambulated along, I made the mistake of marveling at the lack of things irritating me, until I came upon this:

I absolutely hate murals that command me to do things, especially when they're painted on the walls of overpriced clothing retailers. What if I don't feel like living, working, and creating right now? Who is Brooklyn Industries to tell me what to do anyway? Actually, I was already feeling vivacious and effusive just a moment ago, but now thanks to you I'd rather destroy, sit on my posterior, and die. Nice job. You just sold one less $58 "More Bike Lanes" hoodie and robbed me of my will to live in the process.

Fortunately though, my spirits were once again buoyed a little while later, since a bunch of bike nerds under the auspices of Transportation Alternatives were giving out free food on the Manhattan Bridge. And it really was free, too--I didn't even have to listen to any smug speeches or accept any printed anti-car treatises in return! Check out the haul I made:

Good thing I was palping a rack or else there's no way I'd have been able to carry this stuff. The TA nerds couldn't have appeared at a better time, either. I'd just been dropped on the bridge ascent like a piece of hot gnocchi by a woman riding a fixed-gear and dressed like 80s Pat Benatar and I was bonking hard.

Speaking of sitting on my posterior, it's with pleasure tinged with pleasure that I'm pleasured to announce that as of the end of this post I'll be "slaying" a vacation. This vacation will last until Tuesday, May 26th, at which point I will return with regular updates. (Although the subject of those updates will change from cycling to the reproductive system of the Southern Hairy-Nosed Wombat. I smell something, and it's either a Nobel Prize or wombat dung.)

And with that, I'd like to leave you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll see some sort of confirmation, and if you're wrong you'll see evidence of a sinister Dutch plot to create a legion of deadly supercommuters.

Sincere thanks to everybody for reading, commenting, emailing, and generally rubbing your bikes wherever and however you please. Ride safe this coming week, and I'll look forward to seeing you again on Tuesday, May 26th.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) This rider loves:

--BARSPINZ!

--NOBR AKES

--AZN PPL!

--A good corned beef sandwich

2) The person who submitted this bike to Fixedgeargallery built it for:

--Hanging as a mobile above his baby's crib

--Undersea exploration

--Use as a prop in a live Dr. Seuss play

--His girlfriend

3) There is a limit to what people will try to sell on Craigslist.

--True
--False

4) How do you know this bike is from Manchester, UK?

--~~Manchesterites~~ Mancunians love Stryper
--It evokes the interior of the Haçienda nightclub
--It's finished in the colors of Manchester's new bike-share program
--It's obviously blind drunk

5) What does this image depict?

--A fixed-gear skid patch analyzer app for the iPhone
--Knog's new "Tire Newt" lights
--The areas of varying tread thickness on Soma's new "Everwear II" fixed-gear-specific tire
--The phenomenon known as "rim throb"

6) What is most remarkable about this bike?

--The improvised frontal filth prophylactic
--The excess padding on the bars coupled with the lack of padding on the saddle
--The kickstand
--All of it. The gestalt is mindblowing.

7) Why does this car have a boat on it?

--The Fixed-Gear Apocalypse is upon us and the driver is fleeing Brooklyn
--It's one of those new amphibious Volkswagens, the "Flip n' Float"
--It's Drive Your Boat to Work Day
--The driver is going to "slay" some boating

8) How many companies are involved in this "collabo" called "The Complete Ride," which involves fixed-gear-specific sneakers and bikes with matching "colorways?"

--Two
--Four
--Six
--Eight

The ________ is made in collaboration with master milliner Victor Osborne and designed with the highest attention to detail. ____ started with Italian tropical wool suiting, known as the finest cloth in the world and graded in terms of a Super number. The higher the number, the finer the wool. These caps are all made from Super 80s or better, which means they will have similar performance qualities to our premium merinos. Perfect for riding across town and still looking refined and sophisticated on your next date.

9) What product does this copy refer to?

--The $75 Outlier Tropical Wool Cap
--The $175 Rapha Gentlemen's Bonnet
--The $7.50 Nashbar "Head 'Em Off" Cycling Cap
--The $595 Derby Day Hat from The J. Peterman Company