As the weekend comes upon us like Ben Stiller came on the Columbia team bus (by which I only mean that it is welcome, though it is worth noting that the weather has been pretty hot and sticky lately), I hope you will join me in sending best wishes for an expedited recovery to Levi "Letle Viride" Leipheimer, who has been forced to withdraw from the Tour de France due to a broken wrist. While Johan Bruyneel expressed disappointment, he also refused to confirm or deny rumors that Leipheimer was the unintended victim of an inter-team plot to rid Astana of Alberto Contador. Furthermore, Bruyneel also refused to comment on rumors that a "diminutive Frenchman" was recently spotted attempting to install a Mavic R-Sys front wheel onto Contador's Trek Madone. According to an anonymous source, when questioned the Frenchman would only say that he was attempting to "curate" Contador's bike, and that Mavic's proprietary tra-comp technology is the "centerpiece of any groupo."And so, as this cloud of controversy thickens like a masters racer's midriff, I present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the video that prompted the closing of fixed-gear culture, even though it's pretty much exactly like every other fixed-gear video. (The video had previously been redacted upon closure of the "scene.")
Thanks for reading, enjoy the weekend, and ride safe.
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) According to Wikipedia, one reason to "go commando" is that:--it can eliminate pantylines
--it can be more comfortable
--it can be good for the environment due to less detergent use
--it can have significant benefits to the vulva
2) This photograph taken in Williamsburg, Brooklyn is encouraging because:
--It proves that yellow cabs will stop for shirtless people with facial tattoos
--It proves that fixies still have "street cred" since they are ridden by shirtless people with facial tattoos
--You don't need to spend big bucks on a pair of Outlier shorts to go "commando" on your fixie
--All of the above
3) Whose nipple is this?
--Red Hot Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Kiedis
--Tour de France maillot jaune Rinaldo Nocentini
--Serial stage winner and alleged racist Mark Cavendish
--Serial retrogrouch and uber-curmudgeon Jobst Brandt
4) Shane Stock would be so proud! This New York City woman is riding:--an Iro bike
--an Oso bike
--a Zoso bike
--a Mofo bike
5) If you're going to ride your bike on the sidewalk, you might as well:
--Wear giant headphones
--Ride in salmon-colored pants
--Ride a Puma in the "bruise" colourway
--All of the above
6) It's OK to be a bike salmon as long as you're accompanied by a dog.--True
--False
7) Spotted in the wild! Republic Bikes are now available from which clothing retailer?--Old Navy
--Target
--Urban Outfitters
--American Apparel
8) "Fuck Yo Couch" may very well be the rallying cry of a generation.--True
--False
9) Complete the above "Missed Connection:"--AND YOU STOLE MY BIKE LIGHT!
--AND YOU WORE NO HELMET!
--AND YOU WORE NO PANTS!
--AND YOU STOLE MY HEART!
***Special Bicycle Curatorial Bonus Question***
When" curating" a porteur bike, your first priority should be to make absolutely sure:
--it is lugged
--it can be "portaged"
--it is wrapped in leather
--every component tells a story
