Nora, W Jackson Blvd & S Dearborn St, Chicago, IL

Nora rides a bike that was custom- built by her husband Shawn Quaid.

Where are you going? I'm finishing up lunchtime errands and returning to my music studio Ossia Musical Forum (where I teach and perform violin and viola) at the Fine Arts Building.
Why ride? Quickest, healthiest, most economical way to gets around downtown and I always find front-row parking!
What are you wearing?  Michael Kors leopard print skirt, Italian peep toe pumps from Sienna, Italy, hose and cape from Nordstrom.
Tell me about your bike, and where you got it? It's a custom- built bike from new and used parts that my husband,Shawn Quaid, built for me. He has his own side-business rebuilding bikes from recycled parts-- very reasonable and super environmental. For anyone interested, email shawnquaid@yahoo.com
Favorite ride? I love triathlons, especially BigFoot at Bigfoot park in Wisconsin
While riding you …? Often wear a skirt and heels and have a violin or viola on my back.
How can Chicago improve bike infrastructure or be more bike friendly?  More bike lanes and racks.
And other cool, funny tips or stories? Can't count the number of times I've been in the bike lane and someone has leaned out the car window and said… "Biking, in heels???!!" And I usually reply: "It's easier than walking in them!"

N State St & E Washington St, Chicago, IL

Sometimes I write down someone's name and email and then just can't find it again, which is the case with this photo. Anyone know her?

A Tip of the Helmet: Taintless in 2010

This morning, I tentatively crept out of my hidey-hole and found that the holidays were indeed finally over. The Christmas trees have been cast out to the curb, the menorahs extinguished, the nog imbibed, and the hangovers remedied. All that is left now is to embark upon the upcoming year like a mountain biker confronts a long stretch of technical singletrack: excited yet frightened, over-equipped, poorly groomed, and sufficiently stoned.

Despite having recently decried the notion of New Year's resolutions, the truth is that beneath the topsoil of my sarcasm lies an an aquifer of sincerity, and I do in fact aspire to improve myself each year and to one day become a person without taint. (I mean "without taint" in the "uncontaminated" sense, not in the "lacking a grundle" sense.) This is difficult, for the world is full of taint, and we must first learn to recognize it so that we may keep it from seeping into our aquifers and poisoning our inner waters. It is important to remember that even the most seemingly benign wellsprings can be tainted with misinformation. Take, for example, "Bicycling" magazine.

As I alluded to earlier, I spent the latter part of the holidays in deep seclusion--though not so deep that I didn't have access to a well-known pharmacy chain, where I found myself one evening shopping for the sorts of mildly embarrassing items one obtains in a drug store. Passing the magazine rack, I noticed the January/February issue of "Bicycling," so I stopped to confirm that they're actually printing my column. (They constantly assure me they are, but I remain skeptical.) It occurred to me as I leafed through the magazine that I was already about to purchase an armful of embarrassing items so I might as well purchase "Bicycling" too. (I like to think that cashiers at well-known pharmacy chains don't discriminate between, say, fungal infection sufferers and fungal infection sufferers who read "Bicycling" magazine.) Indeed, the cashier appeared only slightly nonplussed (though that might be because I insisted she triple-bag the magazine to guard against translucency), and I left the store with some change in my pocket and my dignity only mildly fractured.

The next morning, I found myself in the bathroom (thanks in part to some of the embarrassing items I'd purchased the night before), where I was pleased to have the new reading material. However, my pleasure turned to concern when I flipped open the magazine and saw this advertisement on the inside of the front cover:

The gentleman riding the Serotta (or "Dental Chair" as I prefer to call Serottas) is of course Chris Carmichael, the Deepak Chopra of cycling coaches. I did "Look Closer at Chris Charmichael" as the ad bade me to do, and the first thing I noticed was his helmet strap, which hung beneath his chin like a rooster's wattle:It should go without saying that this is not the proper way to wear a helmet--unless you prefer to let it hang from your neck between your shoulder blades in the manner of a cowboy:
Still, I decided to forgive "Bicycling" for this error. Certainly as a contributor I'm biased, but the fact is that there is a difference between an advertisement and editorial content, and this was the former. If Nissan places an advertisement featuring Chris Carmichael wearing an improperly adjusted helmet, or Chris Carmichael himself runs an ad with his company's URL misspelled and a phantom rider's wheel visible between another rider's legs, it's not really "Bicycling's" responsibility to point out those errors. Even so, I was still dismayed to find this Jamis ad just a few pages later:


While it's certainly good to see a celebrity of Joachim Phoenix's stature riding a bicycle, it's a shame that he's wearing his helmet at such a jaunty angle:


Like many forms of headwear, a helmet has a job to do. A sombrero protects you from the sun; a beer hat feeds you beer; a beer sombrero protects you from the sun and feeds you beer; and a helmet protects your head from impact. However, your helmet can only do its job if it is worn correctly, and in this case the entire frontal portion of Phoenix's cranium is exposed, thus transforming the helmet from a form of headwear with an actual job to do into a form of headwear with a merely symbolic job to do. Really, you can wear symbolic headwear any way you like, since it's only the act of wearing it that's important. For example, you can wear a yarmulke (or kippah, or crêpe de la tête) way back on your head, because it doesn't really do anything--it just appeases "God" with its presence:


Similarly, if you're a fashion victim you can wear a fedorah way back on your head, since it's not really doing anything except broadcasting your victimhood to the world (as are your driving gloves, which you wear to not drive the car you don't have):


Symbolic headwear doesn't only have to be worn jauntily on the back of the head, either. It can also be worn forward over the eyes to convey douchiness:

But a helmet actually does something, so it should be worn properly--which means it should stay below the hairline. Fortunately, I did eventually find an ad in "Bicycling" featuring a properly-worn helmet:

As a pro cyclist, Levi Leipheimer knows how to wear a helmet. By the way, you don't need to have a hairline to determine whether you're wearing your helmet properly. Leipheimer doesn't have a hairline either, so he aligns it with the top of his ears instead:


Untainted, and not a hair out of place.

It's All in the Details*

These days the concept of “paying your dues” has pretty much gone out the window. People want it and they want it now. If they want the tattooed look, they don’t acquire ink over time; they walk in to a tattoo boutique and get full sleeves in a few sittings. If they want to become bike racers, they don’t join a club and suffer for results until a local team asks them to join; they run right out and start their own Cat 5 super team. They don’t learn about cycling by doing; they get all the aesthetic and gear cues online, walk into (or mouse-click into) a shop and buy it all at once.

That’s all fine, except when you do things that way you don’t learn right. Particularly, you don’t learn the details. And while you think you might look the part and own the role, those of us who learned the hard way (by looking stupid until someone took pity on us and gave us a clue) can tell from some small cues you’re lacking in fundamentals. Just as dogs pick up on the minutest tail twitch, fur bristle, or ear movement, the experienced cyclist quickly looks you over and draws a conclusion.

Here are just a few of these cues. Some are better known than others. Most are referenced elsewhere on the internet. But I’m reiterating them here since I think they bear repeating:

(*A lot of this is roadie-specific. But roadies, as the most anal of cyclists, are the Keepers of the Law. Kinda like the Orthodox Christians or Jews. You may resent them, but they maintain the rules so the rest of us can violate them.)

Skewers (Quick-Releases)

Quick release levers should always be on the non-drive (left) side of the bike. On the rear, this is common sense since on the right side it would interfere with your derailleur and gear cluster. But the front wheel should always follow suit—I’m stunned at how often I see high-end road bikes with their QR levers on the wrong side. (The only exception is in the case of a disc brake-equipped mountain bike, where the front caliper might interfere with the lever.)

Also, positioning (direction in which the QR lever points) is important. 12:00 front and 2:00 rear is acceptable, as is 2:00 front and 10:00 rear, for example. Random compass-needles-in-a-magnetic-field angles are not.

Tire Labels

Always on the drive side, and always aligned with the valve stem. The practical reason for this is it helps you orient the tire and the tube when searching for punctures. But more importantly, it looks right.

Rim Labels

If you have a rim with a label on it (like a Mavic Open Pro, for example), the label should be readable from the drive-side of the bike. If it’s not your wheel is backwards. If it’s the rear wheel it was built wrong. In this case it is imperative you remove the sticker.

Hub Label

The brand name on your front hub shell should be readable when you’re sitting on the bike. If you orient it this way and the rim sticker faces the wrong way, see above.

Eyewear

If you wear eyewear in conjunction with a helmet, the earpieces of your glasses should always go over your helmet straps. (Though even pro racers violate this one in the heat of battle.)

Pedal Stroke

An experienced rider is readily identifiable by his pedal stroke. The most obvious cue is the knees. They should be as close together as possible, almost hitting the top tube. Bowlegged pedaling screams “I started riding yesterday.”

Saddle

There is a tendency for new riders, particularly of the “My First Fixie” variety, to angle the nose of their saddles way, way down. I don’t know why this is, but I suspect it’s because they set their bars too low despite never having really ridden a drop-bar bike before. Also, I’ve seen lots of messengers do this, probably to keep their bags from getting hung up on the nose of the saddle, so I suppose it was copied from them. Whatever the reason, if you’re doing this, stop! Your saddle should be level or close to it. A few millimeters here or there is fine if your taint demands it. A 45 degree downward slope should be reserved for downhill skiing.

Helmets

To wear or not to wear is a matter of personal choice. I begrudge neither decision. And obviously in competition you have no choice. But if you are riding on the road (whether road bike, road fixie, or whatever), lose the visor! Visors have no place on a helmet except on the mountain bike trail. Wear a cycling cap under your helmet instead—this does not occur to a lot of newbies. Also, lose the BMX/skater helmet with no vents. I realize some people think helmets make you look dorky, and that these are somehow cooler. They’re not. They make your head look like a penis. If you’re that concerned about looks just skip the helmet and take the risk. And finally, most importantly, NO MOTORCYCLE HELMETS. Yes, I’ve been seeing people wearing skid-lids on their bikes around town lately. Get it off!

Stickers

This should go without saying, but any stickers that came on your bike, particularly those conveying either the size of the bike or dire warnings, should be removed immediately. I don’t care that you’re riding a 56, or that improper assembly of your bike can lead to accidents, or whatever the warning labels say. If it ain’t under the clearcoat, get it off.

As far as stickers put on for aesthetic purposes or for the espousal of political beliefs, musical preferences, or equipment endorsements, I think it looks stupid, but go ahead if you want, it’s your funeral. However, equipment stickers advertising brands that are not present on the actual bicycle are especially idiotic-looking. (Like a Campy sticker on an all-Shimano bike.)

Don’t get me started on cards in the spokes.

Pie Plates

This is the plastic disc that is often found under the cassette on pre-built road bikes. There is absolutely no excuse for having one of these on your bike. It is like leaving the tag in your underwear. Learn how to remove a cassette and get rid of that thing!

Attitude

This may come as a shock to the newer riders out there, but there is absolutely nothing cool about trying to race somebody on your commute or on a recovery ride in the park. I know you’re very excited to be on your new Pista or Madone or whatever, and I know you feel like you need to prove yourself when you see someone else on a track bike or on a road bike in a team kit or whatever the case may be. But you need to learn something very important—it’s not always cool to attack, and it’s never OK to sit on a stranger’s wheel.

That guy on the track bike you’re killing yourself to pass may simply be on his way home from the velodrome, or from a day’s work as a messenger. The guy on the carbon wonder-bike in full lycra regalia may be returning from a 90-mile training ride, or a race, or may be cooling down from an interval. He sees you pick up the pace when you approach him, he hears you panting, he sees you look over your shoulder, and he knows what you’re up to. That’s why he lets you get a lead and then passes you on the next hill, often making a point of making a cell-phone call or eating some food, so he can pass you no-handed.