More BSNYC In Print: The Reign of Terror Continues

At the end of last week I revealed that I had entered the rarified world of cyclists who get special online discounts just for being themselves. At the risk of further alienating my readership, today I’m also proud to announce that I’m apparently a VIC. (That’s a “Very Important Cyclist” to you.) That’s right, I’ve just been published in the Official Program and Ride Guide for the Five Boro Bike Tour, which is sponsored by some bank whose name I’m not going to mention. I’d also like to put additional emphasis on the fact that this is the official program, and not that pirated version floating around that directs you to a totally different starting place where you’re robbed of your bicycle at gunpoint.

In the program, I am published alongside three other VICs. They are: Charles Schumer (he’s from the Senate, and not that lame House of Representatives that anyone can get into); Dan Doctoroff (I don’t know his deal but I’m assured he’s real important); and David Byrne (the guy from the thing I panned awhile back who was also in some band). Coincidentally, this was also the podium of the 1981 Het Volk semi-classic, so I truly am in illustrious company. Anyway, the [whatever] Bank Five Boro Bike Tour is a cool way to see the city. You even get to ride car-free on that weirdo Sufjan Stevens’ favorite thoroughfare, the BQE, so check it out. (Many thanks to Hannah B. of Bike New York for asking me to contribute.)



That said, I’m now going to make sure there’s no remaining good will towards me by hitting you with a surprise Monday post-Easter quiz. As usual, consider the question, read the choices, and click on your answer. If you’re right, you’ll see the item. If you’re wrong, you’ll get this. Good luck!



Retired Classics star Johan Museeuw’s new line of bicycles is constructed from a hybrid of carbon fiber and what other material?

-- Bamboo
-- Flax
-- Hemp
-- Strands from his hair plugs

These oddly-shaped handlebars, which sport a tape job that looks like Bruce Banner’s wardrobe post-Hulkification, belong to:

-- Lennard Zinn of Velonews
-- Bill Strickland of Bicycling
-- Jobst Brandt
-- James Huang of Cyclingnews

Which is NOT an actual quote from the website of Bike Riders Tours, a luxury cycling tour you can find advertised in the pompously irrelevant periodical The New Yorker?

-- “Nothing is between your Cannondale and the road ahead to Donna Teresa's kitchen. Except the distinct sensation of fresh lemon scent as your pedals stroke along Mount Etna's citrus groves.”
-- “We welcome you to stand out from the crowd, to travel small to get more, to go out and say bonjour, to savor the peppery tingle of freshly pressed Umbrian olive oil on real bruschetta, to haul in lobster traps from Maine's Penobscot Bay, or to listen to the invigorating crash of the North Atlantic on the jagged shores of Galway Bay.”
-- “We welcome you to witness the sense of a place, to live the moment, to be saturated in the locale.”
-- “Inhale air heady with the aroma of fresh basil as you urge your bicycletta towards the next village, where a colorful array of charming locals waits to soothe your sore muscles, ply you with homemade wine, and feed your every appetite.”

The PistaDex in New York City is currently at:

-- 520
-- 320
-- 600
-- 800

According to the seller, how much does this bike weigh?

-- 8 pounds
-- 10 pounds
-- 10 kilograms
-- 10 stone

Special BONUS POLL. Simply watch the following videos and make your choice. (No right or wrong answer—full credit given regardless of your choice.)