(Alpaca Lips)Yes, that's right: Monster Track 2008 has been cancelled. If you don't know what Monster Track is, it's apparently the Lollapalooza of alleycats. The organizers have issued the following press release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The organizers of Monster Track 2008 have decided, after careful consideration, to cancel this year’s main race. This decision did not come easy and was debated at length. Our reasons are many but the overall factor was that the race has become unmanageable due to the large participation and our concern for the participant’s safety.
As many of you know, Monster Track started as a race held for a small, close group of NYC bike messengers. It has now become an overwhelmingly all-inclusive event. This, on its face, may seem like a positive direction for a race but in the context of a solely track bike alleycat it brings many problems. First and foremost, the safety of the racers is compromised. We believe that this is not a tenable position for race organizers.
Although the main race is canceled, please join us for Gold Sprints on Friday evening, Fixed Gear Competition (track stands, skids, footdown, freestyle, sprints, etc.) on Saturday and the Velo City Tour, at Kissena Velodrome on Sunday.
This cancellation was almost certainly motivated at least in part by the recent alleycat death in Chicago. Indeed, alleycat racing is surely the slam-dancing of the bike world, and it is now well into the "moshing" phase, thanks to the overwhelming all-inclusiveness referred to above combined with the unprecedented popularity of riding brakeless track bikes on the street. Right now, if alleycat racing were a concert, it would be Woodstock '99 and Limp Bizkit would have just taken the stage.
If you still have any doubt, just read this article in yesterday's New York Times. If you're unfamiliar with the Times, it's sort of an obituary for subcultures, in that once yours appears there then it's already dead. And apparently, nobody alerted the reporter to the fact that Monster Track had already been cancelled before the article ran. But alleycat organizer Mike Dee did thave this to say:
Originally only bike messengers and their girlfriends came. Now it’s regular people on their bikes saying: “I want to do that, too. That looks fun.” It’s a cultural phenomenon for young post-college kids getting these yuppie jobs that don’t pay them any money, figuring they’re going to be paying off student loans the rest of their natural lives, or who can’t get a job anywhere but a coffee shop with their art degrees. They’re like, “I’ll just get this track bike and stick a U-lock in my back pocket and ride around.”
Surely, now that these trendy scavenger hunts have left the CBGBs and 9:30 Clubs of the cycling world, are being embraced by frat boys, and are becoming unmanageable mob rides in the same way that moshing became a form of date rape with live musical accompaniment, then we must be able smell the fetid breath of the Alpaca, right?
Well, let's see what's happening on Craigslist:
BIANCHI PISTA TRACK BIKE - $650 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/587443460.html]
Well, as far as I know, there's more than one month of summer, and I thought Kryptonics made skateboard wheels, but the fact that he's asking the absurd price of $650 is a good sign. Right?
Bianchi Pista 2001 - 53cm - $600 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/586783849.html]
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-02-25, 8:04PM EST
Bianchi Pista 2001 size 53cm. use this bike for the past few years and its still in great condition. it has some paint chips but still looks fine. there are 3 minor scratches on the top tube as seen in picture below. doesn't effect the bike what so ever. most part are original except stem and handlebar. asking for 600 or best offer.
If interested please email me at [deleted]
And here's a seven year-old Pista for $600. Together this brace of Pista posts puts the NYC PistaDex at a stratospheric $625. Surely we're not facing the End of Days yet.
Or are we? Aren't all busts preceded by a boom? Perhaps we need to look beyond the PistaDex:
trade : chrome metro bag for kremlin [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/593285572.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-03-02, 4:00PM EST
anybody want to trade my all black chrome metropolis bag in good condition for their kremlin .
mines 2000cu in pretty freakin big
yours 3000cu. in.even freakin bigger
my bag is in great shape , i havent used it in a long time , great size for all your smelly shits.
I need something to cart packages to the post office , my bag is too small for the volume i deal with blah blah blah
Blah, blah, blah. I'm not sure what kind of bulk mailing operation this guy is running, but based on his reference to carrying "smelly shits" it seems that he's mailing large quantities of either marijuana or feces. Frankly I think he'd be better off with one of those folding carts people take to the supermarket, and I think we'd be better off without people like him. So if the Apocalypse is indeed coming, let's hope it dispatches with him faster than a messenger unloads his last package on Friday evening.
MINT - ITALIAN TRACK BIKE 52 CM BRAND-SPANKIN-NEW - $750 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/593249564.html]
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-03-02, 3:26PM EST
Rode 2 laps around the park. Geometry not working for me.
$1750 for the whole thing... Paid 2000 + sales tax yesterday… OR $750 for the Cinelli Vigorelli frame which includes the fork & headset ($1090 MSRP-http://www.cinelli-usa.com/) and I'll leave on the bottom bracket - an additional $35 value. Velocity Aero Black Rims, Omas Hubs, Cinelli Post, Italia Gel Seat… Direct Contact: [deleted]
Geometry not working for you on your rides around the park, eh? Maybe you shouldn't have bought a freaking track bike then! It's not supposed to work for that kind of riding, idiot. Hopefully at least you're coming to grips with the fact that you should have bought the hybrid the guy at the shop told you would be appropriate for the type of riding you do. Surely right now the Apocalyptic Alpaca is breathing fire from his nostrils, as no deity could possibly resist the urge to smite someone like this.
Land Shark Track Frame and fork with campy headset, 54 - $650 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/593157515.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-03-02, 1:49PM EST
Yo! So I built this bike, but got a Croll track bike built up for racing and don't want this one anymore. I want a Land Shark road bike. So anyways, here is the bike specs from what i measured, got the frame from the original owner, but they didn't know the exact specs, you get the top tube pad too:
all measurements (c-c):
top tube - 54
seat tube - 53, it is more like a 52 (too short for me)
fillet brazed lugs
Cool, so basically I payed 700+shipping for the frame and fork, which was too much to pay, so I am trying to sell it for 600, but i put a new old stock headset on there so that is why it is 650. The bike is short, too short for me in fact.
e-mail me your number and I'll call you back today. It's nice out, so a great chance to come take a look.
Ok, that is it, nothing else is for sale, please don't ask, but if you buy the frame, you can talk to me about buying the other stuff...if you buy the frame.
It's really an amazing bike. Ok bye! Oh, one last thing. Please don't waste my time. If you are coming to look at it, I would expect you have got the cash and know what you are looking at and just want to confirm the quality of the frame. I'll deliver the bike to you for free.
Yo, the only thing uglier than a Land Shark is a Land Shark with a top tube pad on it. And surely there's no human alive who could possibly look at that bicycle without protective eyewear. Cool, so that means if someone actually does show up it could only be the Apocalyptic Alpaca, who will undoubtedly burn both you and your bicycle to embers with his Flamethrowing Snout of Death. In a fight between a Land Shark and an Apocalyptic Alpaca, I'll take the latter every time.
PINARELLO VINTAGE ROAD BIKE italian fixie fixed campy campagnolo rare - $1100 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/591908990.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-03-01, 5:09AM EST
Vintage Pinarello road bike. The frame is a top tube 54, from center to center, and a seat tube 54, from center to center. Bike is Columbus steel, and has campy dropouts. The cranks are Omega standard double, and in great vintage shape. Suntour front dérailleur, an old school sew up rear wheel, and a mavic front wheel. The bike is set up for drop tube shifters, although you can modify it to index if you prefer. Rear cassette is six speed. Serial number is R-371, which means this bike was low production.
While this bike is in functioning condition and has great ride quality, it needs a drive train with better parts, as well as new wheels to be in top/restored condition.
The frame is the beauty of this setup. It is rare and hard to find, and structurally, it is perfect. It has some scratches, and NO dings.
If you are looking for a vintage bike, or a project, this bike is as special as anything you are probably going to find. Made in Italy, and looks vintage.
PAYMENT: I will take $1100 or my highest offer. I live in California, and this bike is listed in both Los Angeles area, as well as Sacramento. I will package it for free, and ship it for $50, which is very reasonable. If you would like to pay Paypal for security reasons, I will accept, given you pay the 3% fee. I will take a personal check, but you must wait for checks to clear in my account before I ship. In a world of bullsh*t scammers, I can assure you I am honest, and lets talk on the phone and exchange addresses to prove it.
I do have a total of 12 pics available. Email if you want more.
If you are interested, email me and leave a name and phone number.
Do things in New York City look so bad to the rest of the world that they're attempting to sell us their overpriced vintage castaways from the outside? Apparently the answer is yes. Please keep your "italian fixie fixed campy campagnolo rare" bike and your "Omega" cranks and your "drop tube shifters" and your accute accent over the "e" in "derailleur" and let us at least meet our end with dignity. And don't worry, your own will come soon enough. So keep that Pinarello, you might need it.
