Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #25, #26, and #27

I can't speak for the other cities which have gotten the Langster treatment, but when it comes to New York Specialized missed the mark like Michael Rasmussen missed his drug tests. Probably the biggest mistake is the taxicab color scheme. In NYC, bikes and taxicabs don't exactly have a harmonious relationship. In fact, cabs are to cyclists what cats are to mice, or deli slicers are to vegans, or Turks are to Cypriots. We're not exactly looking to pay good money to pay homage to them. Then there's the website copy: "Built for rallying city streets and lapping racers at the velodrome..." Uh, unless you're a derny pacer you're not going to be lapping anybody at the velodrome with flat bars.

The Specialized New York Langster appears to be designed by the same team responsible for the tchotchkes you find in Times Square gift shops. If they really wanted to market a true New York-style fixed-gear, they'd have gone straight to the wellspring of crap that is Craigslist for their inspiration. Here are a few fetid posts from which they could have learned something:

Fixed Gear track bike 50 cm Brass Knuckle TRADE OR SELL - $1200
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/436167003.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-30, 12:51PM EDT

http://velospace.org/node/4695

clink link for the bikes specs

looking for an older bike or rare bike etc price is negotiable but will swap out parts

Note the pricing on this one. Specialized is only charging a retail price of $740 for the New York Langster. While that kind of conservative pricing may fly in Duluth, here in NYC we like our prices inflated like a lipful of collagen. Apartments, cocktails, bikes--if it doesn't have an extra decimal place we figure it just ain't worth buying. Asking $1,200 with a straight face for a bike as ugly as this takes moxie. Note also that the seller is negotiable on price but will swap out parts. If I were buying, I'd actually pay more for any downgrade that would make this bike less disgusting.

50 CM IRO ANGUS Track Bike White / Gold - $750
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/432987600.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-26, 5:44PM EDT


broke as shit, moving, and dont need 2 bikes.

so the angus is for sale. its white, which is dope looking and they dont make the color anymore. it was also a limited run of the frame which isnt drilled for a rear brake AND doesnt have those ugly ass little bottle holder holes.

deep V's laced with black spokes and black nipples with relativly new tires, i built this at the beginning of spring, but then built another bike shortly after which is my daily so this has very few miles, no dents and is clean.

here are some pics, but now it has drop bars and metal cages.

46 16 gearing, nitto stem, bla bla.

gimme a ring if you want it, or email [deleted]

Another New York lesson Specialized would have done well to learn--charge more for less. Yes, nothing is "doper" or gets the pulse pounding harder than a white bike--it looks slow just standing still. (And together with the gold rims, it looks like a rapper's mouth.) And yes, nothing is uglier than useful braze-ons (as Dave Moulton will tell you). This kind of studiously detached prose is exactly the kind of copy Specialized should have used for the New York Langster. The seller seems put-upon and exasperated despite the fact that he's trying to sell his bike and can't afford his rent, which makes you want to get to know him and give him money. Best of all is the inclusion of the cat in the photo, which proves that this bike is, quite literally, a pussy magnet.

Bianchi Pista Chrome Large frame Flip hub single speed - $500
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/431970929.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-25, 4:32PM EDT


Perfect condition

Moving Back to San Francisco.

Kai [deleted]

Nothing's more New York than the person who decides to leave town and sell his Pista for just under full MSRP. It's as New York as bagels, pizza by the slice, and rat dander-induced asthma. If "Midnight Cowboy" were made today, Jon Voight would have tried to sell off his Pista on Craigslist just after he got tired of whoring himself and just before he got on the bus to Florida with Dustin Hoffman. If the Langster is ever going to reach Pista status, Specialized is going to have to get with the program. Notice Bianchi doesn't have to resort to cutesy city-themed Pistas--though if they did, I think this one should be the New York edition. With its taped frame, tilted saddle, and intact reflectors, it evokes the naive country boy who has been forced to confront the harsh realities of the big city. They could call it the "Joe Buck."

Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #20 (and #21, and #22, and #23, and #24)

Craigslist is like a composting toilet--everybody in town just keeps bringin' the crap. And if cycling culture is a rock, Craigslist is the disgusting mess of insects, worms and larvae that you find wriggling around beneath it when you flip it over. Prepare to lose your appetite:

hey douchebag on the iro [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/422230951.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-14, 10:29AM EDT
yeah you on smith st. in brooklyn, this is the second time you've almost nailed me. I know you're cool and all on your fixie but how about actually looking into intersections before you bomb thru red lights. If you do it again I'm gonna go cinzano on your ass.

Hey, I think I've seen that IRO! What a shame. I never thought IROs would become the new IROCs.

pink surly fixie - $200 (Union Square) [http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/422062375.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-14, 1:55AM EDT
chris king hs, thomson stem, avid disc in front, yay.... i need to stop and my legs too skiiny. i'm getting a black iro, black is the new pink

Speaking of douchebags on IROs, looks like there's going to be another one soon. Why would you do this to a Surly 1x1? All this thing needs is a couple of pink bottle cages to hold a couple bottles of Pepto-Bismol. Not only will they look great, but you'll need them to settle your stomach every time you look down at the monstrosity you're riding. I've got to thank this person for one thing, though--now I know what the inside of a dead body looks like.





fixie project - $50 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/422054493.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-14, 1:34AM EDT
N-I-C-E. Need bb, cranks, pedals and chain.

Oh, you'll need one other thing--a tetanus shot.

2007 Gang Green Bianchi Pista for Sale (57cm) - $600 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/421445886.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
2007-09-13, 12:46PM EDT
2007 Bianchi Pista for sale; I'm moving to London on Monday, so ideally it'd leave this weekend or tomorrow, tonight, whenever - just before Monday. Bought it in March '07 for about $640 w/ taxes and all that. Throwing in a Kryptonite lock ($60) and floor pump ($40). I think the whole thing was $750 in total, so for a bike that's only a couple months old and like-new shape, the price is fairly reasonable. Never crashed or hit or anything like that. Paint's fine all around; rides same as always.

Sorry if the pictures are a little dark.

I've got nothing against the venerable Bianchi Pista. I don't even mind that I see twenty of them a day. But what I do mind is that every single person who tries to sell one on Craigslist tries to sell it at or above full MSRP. Like this guy. Oh, wait, he's actually going to take a $40 hit and throw in some free crap. My mistake. And hey, no need to apologize for the dark pictures. We all know what a Pista looks like. But what's with the reversed image? Is the bike dyslexic? (Or fix-lexic?) If so you should just take it to London with you--it will be quite comfortable on the wrong side of the road.

Track Free Wheel Blue (Tall Frame) Bicycle New Rims, Tire, Chain, Bars - $280 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/420377345.html]
Reply to: [deleted]

Date: 2007-09-12, 7:27AM EDT
Pleased to present a Track Free Wheel Blue Bicycle With New Rims, Tire, Chain, Handle, Bars, seat, Grips, break levers, Fork (upgraded to a all chrome new fork), cables & peddles. The frame is 25’’ inches & the rims are aluminum 27x 1 ¼’’ inches. Deliver is very is available & Please email or call me (347) 733-2079 Peter; if you have any questions & Thank you for your inquire. Note: All of our bicycles are professionally tuned & reconditioned. You are invited to copy & past out web link below to view our past (many more same style) bicycles.

The original fixed-gear chop shop was bad enough. Now there's a new retard on the scene. What in the goddamn hell is a "track free wheel bicycle?" Why do people just take a bunch of trendy bike words and string them together like brain-damaged parrots when they sell stuff on Craiglist? Speaking of brain damage, I'm not picky when it comes to spelling, but one mistake I cannot stomach is spelling "pedals" "peddles." Dear Idiot: a "pedal" is the thing your foot goes on, and "peddle" is what you're trying to do with your crap.

Fixedgeargallery...of the sublimely ridiculous.

One of my favorite things about fixedgeargallery is the sheer variety of bicycles and defects. Sometimes it takes a few minutes for quirks and inconcistencies to reveal themselves, and sometimes the moment I click my mouse I'm nearly thrown from my chair as though I've triggered an ejector seat. In this batch, there's a little from column A, and a little from column B:

This bike has got to be one of the ugliest things I've seen in awhile, bicycle or otherwise. The red, the bubblegum pink, the toptube pad...this is more ill-conceived than a sports bar in Williamsburg. The only possible justification for this bicycle existing would be if the owner is a professional clown who rides it on the job while honking one of those old-timey horns. Barring this, it's a disaster.

Almost subtle in comparison is this rough beast from Chicago, slouching towards Wicker Park to be born. This bike is the equivalent of that guy who always wears a really annoying hat, or an ascot, regardless of the weather. Yes, we all notice you, don't worry--you can stop looking for a pink saddle. And why do I get the feeling somebody's saving up for a white paint job?

This is one of those bikes that took awhile to start annoying me. The first thing I noticed was the top tube pad, which makes the bike look like it's wearing a turtleneck. Putting a top-tube pad on a bike is like putting a sweater on a dog. Then there's the brown color scheme. It's not as bad as the pink, but in its own way it's just as precious. What's with all the color coordinating on fixies? They're bikes, not Barbie dolls. Also, this thing has chain tensioners on horizontal dropouts. Chain tensioners are borderline pointless in the real world even on track fork-ends. On a conversion with horizontal dropouts they're just awkward, sticking out at an angle like exhaust pipes on a Kawasaki. And what's with the rental car? Is that the rider's or his parents'? Either way something's just not right about posing your fixed gear with a motor vehichle.

If this bike isn't "studied chic" I don't know what is. This is a by-the-numbers trendy build. This bicycle says, "The guy who rides me spends way too much time picking out his outfit in the morning." I imagine if you go up that walkway and into that house, and then proceed to the bedroom closet, you'll find a closet full of barely-worn Nike Dunks. Of course, color coordination is present in the purple chain, hubs, and grips. (You know, people who actually ride change their chains and grips too often to make sure they match.) I don't know what that top tube pad is made of, but it looks like either crushed velvet or snakeskin. This bike looks like it's congratulating itself for getting into a really trendy bar last night. How long before he ditches that IRO frame for something NJS?